A letter to my 16 year old self.
Dear Jenna-
I know life seems “totally perfect” in your 16 year old eyes right now. Perfect friends, perfect boyfriend, perfect dance team, and perfect high school. Pretty soon, you are going to go through some of the hardest times in your life. You are going to make some of the worst choices of your life, ditch some of your best friends for a boy, and turn in to an ugly liar.
Don’t worry though, this doesn’t last forever.
Your sophomore year you think you are at your prime. Dad bought you a new black Honda civic that makes you feel untouchable when you and your friends Amber and Kayla are "cursing" down 17th. You meet a lot of fun guys on the weekends cursing and a lot of scary guys that you will think are really "cute" be smart about that. don't get on their bullet bikes, you don't even know them.
You will meet a really nice guy that teaches you how you should be treated, how to ride dirt bikes, go on hikes and be chased by mt. lions, he will introduce you to the most amazing place to eat in rigby "bambinos!" (which is now in Idaho falls so it dosn't help your addiction at all at my age) after a little over a year, your best friend will leave you on a mission but dont be sad it feels like the end of the world for the longest time but you will move on. He will always be one of your good friends
Enjoy ALL of the time you have with Grandpa Egbert. He won’t be around much longer and he loves you so much. Thank him for all he taught you about fishing, you loved to go down on the Egbert's property right off the snake river in Ashton and fish on you two's "secret rock" where the BEST fishing hole in the whole river is, be brave and put the worm on the hook with out his help he would be impressed, but i think he likes it when you squirm, he chuckles when you feel bad for pinching the worm in half.
Your senior year is one of the greatest times of your life. You become close friends with Shayley Glon-Howell, and although your friendship will be tested at times, it will last forever. You will have some great years and some bad years with each other but always know that she will be there for you no matter what and let her know that you will always be there for her :)
Music is your life. I know how important it is to you. Your hardcore shows, Warped Tour, local bands, rap, & hip-hop. I am going to tell you this, and I know you will roll your eyes and think I am totally old and stupid… Be careful to the music that you listen to. Although you can’t always understand what they may be saying, the message they are screaming is still getting through to your brain, hurting your innocent Spirit. Please rethink what kind of music you allow to enter your ears, and don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself.
Savor every moment that you have with your family. You never know what will happen. Your mom loves you. So much. Don’t take advantage of that love. She will be a good friend someday.
Enjoy all of the time you have with your sister Nicole and brother J.D. you may not get along now but they will your best friends. They both get married and move away its one of the hardest things to live with is missing them and there new family's. By the time your 21 you will have one nephew and barely 2 nieces.
Jackson will melt your heart you will miss him so much you cry some times, you beg to talk to him, skype him, have his mom send you a picture message of exactly what he is doing at the moment even if its just sleeping. You miss him SO SO much you drop everything to move down to L.A. to be closer to him.
Cami is the next one, she is beautiful. The past year she had been born for some reason you keep getting sick every time they come to visit or you go visit them in Provo, Ut you cant get close to her, cuddle with her, bond with her, it breaks your heart but you know its for the best, don't worrie after 10 months you finally are not sick when you visit and you get to hold her! Its an amazing moment you will get some great pictures.
And the one after that is Katie Nicole, you wont get to see her for about 3 months(i have not yet to see her but soon hopefully) she is breath taking a baby sent from heaven she has dark dark hair i have on my phone about 15 pictures i ask for one everyday and get so excited when i see a picture is loading from mom or Nicole.
You will someday meet the most incredible man. Get yourself ready to have the happiest marriage. Focus on skills you need to be a house wife and a nurturing Mother. Don’t try to date those "hot guys" with no goals in life, and treats you like dirt as aunt Julia tells you when your a senior about a dumb boy you are dating then "he is just a Pretty wrapper with Nothing inside" some of the best presents come in brown boxes with newspaper wrapped around it. You date a lot in college have tonz of flings here and there.. nothing to special you have a blast meet tonz of fun guy friends that will do ANYTHING for you! Cherish them.
Turning 21 is over rated, your 21st summer you have some good times but mostly bad, your not sure who your true friends are, you bust your butt planning fun activities for your friends(you can never just be at home alone) but you never really get any acknowledgment, your fine with that you always live your life what goes around comes around.. well.. at the end of the summer you are figuring out your friends aren't as nice as you thought and realized you deserve better, you have had a lonely fall, but you start school back up so you don't notice your alone at the time, you keep busy and keep your head up.
2011 comes! you help with a house party with some guys from the singles ward they are awesome so excepting and just plan good guys. You start to be happy again! school is getting better and all of a sudden.. you meet a new friend, you see her out dancing, and realize you guys went to the same elementary, middle, and high school, she is a grade above you, you never ever talked or really saw each other, all you remember is the girl from your bus in elementary. You say hi and go on your way, then you see her at church, then at the gym, ALL within one week! if that's not a sign from God i don't know what is, we exchanged numbers, she invites you to things for a couple of weeks, your scared to go cause you don't know anyone, your scared cause you wonder if its going to end up like your last friendship did, you are just vulnerable? You finally give in, you go out and have a BLAST she is just like you, always putting others first, making sure everyone is happy around you, always giving giving giving. You move in with her and you guys are inseparable.. here is never a dull moment (except for when you guys stay up for a whole weekend straight)you keep telling your self life is SO SO good, you can't remember the last Bad day you had.. the last time you had anxiety, the last time you were depressed or cried. Your amazed cause every single day keeps getting better and better, in the back of your mind you think some times... live is going so good right now something bad is going to happen.. but it hasn't yet.. "knock on wood"
Cherish EVERY moment with your friends and family don't wish your life away.
Love always,
The 21 (almost 22 in 2 weeks) year old Jenna Marie
:)
