Bitter vs Sweet on CHANGE

Every time I look back at these Highs school Pictures of me its bitter sweet.. i SO MISS my fit body, i wasn't skinny, but i was in good shape i loved hiking, working out all of that with no prob.. now when i go to play church ball with middle age men with their knee braces i can barely keep up! 

At first i was so confused thinking "hey my roommate and I go to the gym every day why am i so out of shape!?" 

THEN it hit me.. when we go to the gym we just lift light wights lots of reps...  we need to start RUNNING!!

BOO i hate running..

ANYWAYS..

That is the bitter feelings i get when i see my old pictures.. 

and the SWEET..

I am so happy in them.. i was truly happy.. i new who i was, what i was going to do for school after high school i had a great boyfriend (so i thought at the time) and a amazing friend (shayley glon) it wasn't friend at school she is a year older then me i met her though my ex his friend was dating her so we doubled ALL the time we ditched our boyfriends and became the best of friends! I really didn't have a group of friends at school i was friends with everyone but if i went home for lunch by my self (witch i did pretty much every day) no one would know i kinda liked it that way. I had tonz of offers each weekend to do random things, i didn't have just one group doing just one thing..

back to my story, i was happy!

but now.. don't get me wrong i am happy.. but also very scared.. scared of the UNKNOWN

usually i have a plan of what i'm doing in the summer with jobs, plans of what i'm doing in the fall for school..

but i have NO plans what so ever?? who knows where i will be come this spring.. I Love it here in Idaho Falls, my roommate is the most amazing person EVER she is just like me, care free goes with the flow, not picky, laid back, LDS but not molly, she doesn't judge at ALL, so i would love to stay here with her and work, we pretty much run this town.. we are kind of a big deal... BUT this fall should I go back to UTAH? back to SoCal to be a nanny and hair stylist? over seas doing hair on a cruise line, or a humanitarian project building  houses for the homeless (thats the one i'm leaning toward but i need the right funds for that.. maybe next summer)

ok ok i know what your thinking.. wrap it up,

I'm the type of blogger when i stalk people if there is a ton of writing ill skim through it read some, look at the pics and be done, but looking back at this if i came across this blog i prob wouldn't read the whole thing.. so if you have managed to be so board at your place to read this down to the end.. congratulations i hope you got something out of this :)

and to end with a happy thought

I LOVE MY JACKSON